Saturday, January 5th, 2013!

3 12 2012

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DECEMBER 31ST UPDATES!!

Well, bitches and sons ‘o bitches, the “race” is a mere 5 days away! A group of us went out this past Saturday with a bevy of nerdtastic Garmins and measured the course and happily discovered that 13.1 is exactly this:

* Start adjacent to the port-a-potty at Wave Country (scenery!) and head down the greenway and across the bridge over the Cumberland.

* Turn left at bottom of bridge and continue on greenway, doing the loop (the backwards “P” you do at Shelby Bottoms Boogie 15K).

*Return to the bridge, cross back over and past Wave Country again and continue on greenway to mile marker 3, the turnaround point. Mile Marker 3 is at the end of the pedestrian bridge just before you get to the underpass to Kohls. There may be a water stop here.
(You will have run 8 miles at this point..)

*Simply return the way you just came from! Happily, the finish is uphill!

There will be water and the vague possibility of snacks at Wave Country. There will not, however, be directional markers on the course, but the course is pretty simple to follow.

There will definitely be truly stunning prizes for the first male and female finishers. Of course, there may be no one there to see you finish, so it’s up to you to let us know you won. (Um…)

The tentative plan is to meet up afterward for pizza, beer, and so forth at Mafiaoza’s ….Time TBD based on the group’s preference.

So, see you bitches Saturday at 9:00 a.m.!

Previous details below…….

WHAT: A half marathon. Hello.

WHERE: Start at Wave Country parking lot along the Stones River Greenway. Runs across the bridge to Shelby Bottoms Greenway for a few miles (the backwards “P” loop), then back across bridge and out to Kohls and back to Wave Country.

WHEN: Saturday, Jan. 5th at the crack of 9:00 (or later if there is any interest in a 10:00 start…)

WHO: Any dork who wants to run 13.1 miles and your gracious hostesses, The Run Bitches.

WHY: Um, because we all like to torture ourselves?

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Save the date, bitches and sons ‘o bitches! It’s the race you’ve been dreaming about—Jam-packed with the word “NO!”

NO registration or entry fee!

NO chips, bibs, or anything suggesting “official”!

NO shirts, medals, cheerleaders, or sunshine blown up your fanny!

NO over-hyped and then tragic goody bags! However, we’ll be more than pleased to toss you an empty Kroger(s) bag at the start if it makes you feel better.

NO walkers (sorry!), strollers, dogs, hula hooping contingents, bands, or juggling weirdos!

NO whining, complaining, or excuses!

NO mid-race cancellation due to the possibility of rain, snow, sleet, ice, or celestial frogs!

NO late start due to traffic jams, long-winded announcements, or indifference!

NO chance of getting lost on the course! (Well, unless you’re an idiot. Come to think of it, many of us may get lost. Yay!)

NO lack of hilarity, rude shirts, and post-race beverage plans!

More info en route as the date gets closer. Please send a message to the race directors at RunBHalf@aol.com if you think you might be interested so that we can get an idea of how many we’ll have. You may also send complaints, profanity, and suggestions we’ll be sure to ignore to this same email.

There will be water stops and even race photography by the AWESOME Elly Foster!

There may possibly be a starting gun and a clock, but don’t get your hopes up.

There will quite likely be some sort of prize for the first male and female finishers. The nature of this prize will be determined at a super-serious and important meeting of The Run Bitches in some midtown bar.

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