OMG! It’s a Free Beer Mile!!

1 11 2013

HomerSimpson22

That’s right, bitches and sons o’ bitches!

The Run Bitches Free Race Series proudly presents the first Beer Mile Before Monkey on November 22nd, two days before that rinky dink little marathon, The Flying Monkey, over in Personal Worst Park!

More details en route, but this race is limited to about 15 people, so if you’re one of the 4 people who might actually visit this page, and you’re dying to slam 4 beers and run up and down a truly horrific hill (this is not a PR course, bitches), let me know. We’re nearly at our limit even as I write.

Keep in mind that this event will be on a Friday afternoon (before it gets dark), so please plan ahead to make up a flimsy excuse for leaving work early on that day. There will be some food and boring non-alcoholic drinks back at Bitch Tanya and Cheryl’s house afterward, since no one who’s driving will be allowed to leave here drunk. In fact, if you’re running this, get someone to drive you, you idiot.

We also need some volunteers to stand around and check beers and murmur, “This is stupid,” and stuff. Also some spectators to heckle and so forth.

As always, there will be appallingly bad prizes for first male and female finishers, glittertastic signage, and the possibility of Pixie Stix and similar health food items along the course (LOL!). Note: the Official Training Beverage of the Run Bitches will not be making an appearance at this event since, HELLO, you’ll already be drinking beer.

YAY RUNNING!!

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